The plums:
It's not the first time but by god, I've made sure it is the last.
A slave to my master? I shall think not
Without me, he is nothing more but a puzzle with a missing jigsaw
Without me, he will fall to pieces as without a woman a man is nothing.
I was made out of his ribs, and just like his ribs I was put here to support him
So why can he not support me?
Like Noah's wife
Like Sarah to Abraham , I've always put him first .
Cared for him, loved him and showed him affection.
You're probably wondering why I refer to he bible so much?
Well… my husband isn't your typical average man;
A doctor who thinks highly of himself
And a man who has never missed a day of church.
Yet his memory is set to only remember scriptures in his favor,
Never remembering thing such as …
"Ephesians 5:28 - So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."
Am I not his wife?
Shall he not love me in the same way that I do for him?
Everyday I care for him.
Everyday I cook for him.
The one time I try to care for myself, he steals from my plate!
To think, It was just a plum; the final straw to tip me over this edge
Just like it was in the garden of Eden.
The eating of the fruit commenced the end of Adam & Eve's paradise
And now it seems the eating of a fruit would commence the end to our marriage.
The structure of the monologue shows how the wife is drained and starts to give up, the way the writer refers this is by decreasing the amount she is writing in each paragraph, this is a great thing and really effective .......
ReplyDeleteGood job x
The use of metaphors "missing jigsaw" links in with the "fall to pieces" showing how they link together are jigsaws are pieces. This is effective because it gives the reader a closer feeling of how the character felt. This monologue is also very religion related "bible" maybe showing what religion the husband and wife are and there culture.
ReplyDeletePragmatics - Underline meaning. Love, selfish and anger. "The one time I try to care for myself, he steals from my plate!" "Without me, he is nothing more but a puzzle with a missing jigsaw" Great monologue!
ReplyDeleteThe use of lexical fields is effective , it's effective because as you linked religion into this monologue you can see how serious it is to you. The effect on this shows that you wants to make sure he knows how it was no time for mockery. As you know it isn't right to mock religion, he'll take you more serious.
ReplyDeleteRemarkable work here. Using phrases twice in the next sentence creates the emphasis of her going over it in her head, walking about in frustration. It further drags out the future of the writer being the building block, the pillar to his construction, the neck neck to th head of the table.
ReplyDeleteThis thought is circled around on numerous occasions, whilst giving examples of well known Biblical couples such as 'Abraham and Sarah'.
It gives impressions of her slowly fading from rage to a saddened, diminished heart.
However, an improvement that can be made is the sentence of her mentioning that she uses biblical references. This could be seen as not needed as the writer could be so far gone when it comes to The Bible that she genuinely wouldn't know whether or not if she's referring to the Bible as if its become part of her own language, a piece of who she is.
I would write much more on the wonderful context that you've preserved so well in your monologue but alias I need to do others.
Well Done, Good Job
Her idiolect is very formal and very religious. She doesn't use any slang, because she is a married woman and we can deduce that she is educated and very religious from all the biblical terms she uses. The effect this has on the listening audience is frightening as even though she is talking about her husband it's as if it is being said to us, this comes across as frightening because this monologue is only about a plum and the fact that she is using these very biblical terms towards her husband is very demeaning as she is comparing him to an impossibly perfect role model that may or may not be real.
ReplyDelete